Little Miss Tricia

Tricia saw the light after being abused. How Little Miss has helped her find the light and how she wants everyone who has been through abuse to also find that light.

I am not good with the video but I felt the need for the community to know that we are not alone we are one in a million. Every one out of three people have been abused. Jennifer and Kristian have put words into what every abused person has felt. I thank them for being bold and taking the stand that so many don’t. They don’t know how much it truly affects all of us. A song or some simple words mean more to me … than anything that can be bought. Until today I had no idea that this song … these words meant so much to so much to my… to so many of us. I want any person who has been abuse to stand up and say “this sucks but it WILL NOT define me as a person” I feel like the song says exactly that. I know to all of you all out there crying for help or not know the next step – but I beg of you please say something or find someone who will help. It TRULY is the best thing that can happen to you.

So now I will tell you my story. I was 6 when it all stared and my mom got a new man in her life. I didn’t say anything about the sexual abuse until I was in the 8th grade. When I told, all hell broke loose – I went into a state shelter, which was awful. So the only way I knew to “fix” the issue was to say I lied. Which I did – even in court. So that “fixed” the problem …. So I thought until I moved back home in the 9th grade and it started again. And went on for many more years. I finally got into college where I though I was free but I wasn’t. I suffered through, home visits and him coming to up to “visit” When I was in college I got a call that he had died due to hepatitis C – imagine the fear I felt . . . what if I had the disease. Well Thank GOD but as of date I don’t (there is still a chance – it can lay dormant). I finally got a chance, my boss who is now my best friend said that I can move in – (after college I didn’t have a dollar to my name) I lived with my boss and her family for 3 years. I finally got my feet under me and a semi clear head, and decided that I wanted to live. I didn’t tell you earlier that all I wanted to do was die. I cut myself and drank bleach, jumped off of cliffs and took pills, jumped from a second story building (which now I have a plate and screws in my foot – which is a constant reminder of the pain I went through . . . am going through), but GOD wasn’t though with me yet. I stayed at the job that “gave me a chance” but it is still taking years.

I have not told anyone about this in a long time, the last time was 7 years ago. I have decided that I can’t stay quite and just hope to live a normal life. I want to live and “Little Miss” has helped that. I am 31 now and have been so afraid of love and men, but I want a life again. I know that I cannot be 6 again and I know I can’t change the past, but it still hurts I don’t know if it will ever stop hurting. I now know I can live with it and it is who I am … for better or worse.

Little Miss brought HOPE back into my life an by reading the ‘Little Miss Project’ stories make me feel like I can get though this… get though another day. I feel like many people would like to “rescue” a child from the situation but it is much more than that – its a life time of getting thought the memories and then learning to have “true” relationships and learning to deal with everyday of the thoughts that come racing rushing back to a person (and always at the wrong time). This is not just something that happens and then life moves on. Life will move on but we all have to decide if it will move on with us or around us or even worse with out us. I know how I fell and felt I plead to all out there to hope and pray – there are people out there to help us, as did my boss and now my best friend. But everyone must understand that it is day-to-day battle. Some days the battle seams to over take you, but the war is not over.
Please fight and keep on fighting each and every day. Find something/someone that gives you meaning. (If that person is someone you know or hope to know) Even if it a song or artist like Sugarland that will help pull you though the next day. Please all of you find the thing that gets you to the next day because I promise in those next days is hope and a friend that you may not even know was there and didn’t expect. I know for me it was there when I didn’t expect it at all. I was the low man on the pole at the company and somehow the owner saw me. But I tell all of you all it is a battle and each day you might win some and lose some. I have been out of my “situation” for more than 10 years and I still battle with abuse and how to deal with it everyday. But there is hope!

Every one of you all can survive I know it and have faith that you all will – Please find the courage to tell someone and to get out of the situation. I know it is hard and I know you might regret doing it at times, but I promise in the long run it is worth it. Even if the abuser doesn’t serve time or is punished. You have to do it for you and for the rest of your life. It is worth it. I sometimes have to convince myself that it is worth is but I truly believe it is worth it.

To Jennifer and Kristian thank you for writing and singing. I don’t know if you knew the impact at this song might have on someone but I know that just saying the words “scars, one big mess, it will be okay, and most importantly – you are loved” means to a person, You are giving us hope and giving us the will to fight for another day. I know that my story is one in a million (which breaks my heart that there are so many of “these” sorties out here) but with a communion between your song and us (the millions of us) makes it possible for us to make it to the next day which leads to the next day which leads . . . . The impact that your music has on our lives is so powerful and amazing. I know that you both feel that power. Please know that what you do is more than perform or sing, it is breathing life into your fans. And you do it each day and every time you step foot onto a stage or in front of a camera. You give many of us out here time off of earth, a place for our soul and minds to go – to be in another world and to transform the words of your songs into words of hope, life, and love. Each song your write/sing brings that to us… to me. Thank you for doing what you do, it truly means more to me and to many others more than you will ever know.

Look forward to seeing you in Tulsa – I will be proud to be the “Little Miss” each and everyday and I truly hope everyone out there knows “you can fight till you win” Don’t give up please please don’t – It will “be okay” I promise!

To anyone out there who is being abuse PLEASE tell someone PLEASE let someone help you. I know it is hard and scary, but there are people that can help you. You can’t live like this it is not fair to you. You are better than this you deserve better you are worth more, your life has a meaning, you are important to someone . . . you are important to me. Trying times are in front of you, but it is for the better please hang in there. Your life is meaning full. God has a plan, even if you don’t know it. I say that often, cause I don’t know why God had me go through this but the one thing that I KNOW if my story will save a life or get someone out of a bad situation then I have to believe that it is in HIS plan for me to have gone through the abuse. Please get help one way or another. You are better than this, don’t sell your self short. Abuse is not the end of your life – I know that it can, and probably will fill like the end but you can do this. You are worth it. You are strong. You mean something. I know it is hard to feel these things even if they are told you. But it is true and some day you will see that this is the truth. I promise it wont be easy but I also promise it will be worth it. You are worth it. You are important! No matter what anyone says or does. You are an amazing person!!!!

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One thought on “Little Miss Tricia

  1. Tricia, this was such an intense, touching and sad story. But I agree with you referred to the fact what Jennifer & Kristian give to us with their songs and also to the fact that abused people shouldn’t stay in silence! Thanks for sharing your story, it’s so admirable how strong you’ve been & still are, and it’s amazing that you use your experience to help & encourage people who’ve gone through the same!

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