Christy’s losses, addictions & how Little Miss has touched her heart.
My Little Miss Story:
Hello Sugarland, my name is Christy and this song has touched my heart in ways I cannot begin to describe. My childhood was scarred by being sexually molested for many years at the hands of my uncle, he eventually went on to rape and to sodomize me. When he raped me I told him I was going to tell my daddy and that my daddy would make him stop. Well my uncle told me that day that he would kill my daddy. Two weeks to the day later my sweet daddy was killed in an automobile accident. The state troopers told us that someone pulled out in front of him causing him to lose control of the truck. If this were not bad enough, the wreck happened within eyesight of our house. I remember smelling the smoke. Needless to say I blamed myself for many years for his death.
And during the years of abuse I truly believed I was the only one that he was molesting, to find out years later he was doing the same things to my little sister and cousins. So the guilt continued to mount on me throwing me into deep depression. I ate myself to an oblivion, food was my only comfort. This was to become my first battle with addiction. I became addicted to food, and in my 20’s I weighed over 350 pounds. I married at 17 the first time. We had many happy moments but I knew that we were not right for each other. It took me many years to get the courage to leave, but I did. During the course of my marriage I got my second dose at dealing with addiction, I became addicted to prescription antidepressants. That scared me, I realized that I had to deal with it as well as my addiction to food. So I stopped the pills cold turkey and that was a very painful experience. To battle my addiction to food I underwent gastric bypass surgery. And to date I have lost 214 pounds.
After my divorce I found my way back into the arms of my first true love. Johnny and I fell in love in high school, circumstances took us apart for 24 years. But we both always hoped we would come back together. And we did!!!! Finding my way back to this man has been my saving grace. After the divorce things got really ugly, and my ex ended up taking my four beautiful girls away from me. After the girls left I spiraled out of control and tried to kill myself. During this time I’ve gotten another taste of trying to battle addiction, I have allowed myself to become an alcoholic. I am winning that battle today. Learning to cope with what I am feeling instead of buring it with something else is very hard. Yet I know I have to do just that unless I want to spend the rest of my life waiting on the “next addiction.”
Johnny has helped me heal in ways I cannot describe. I no longer blame myself for what happened to my sister and cousins, or for my dads death. Johnny has truly helped me to see that I AM WORTHY OF LOVE!! He has healed a part of my soul and heart that I had tried to ignore was hurting. I still have a long way to go in dealing with losing my babies, but I’m working on that. After I attempted suicide I agreed to sign custody over. It was the most heart wrenching decisions I’ve ever made. But it was the best decision at the time. The shape I was in, my girls didn’t need to see. I know I will continue to heal and strive to do better. This situation has shown me who my friends really are and has painfully shown me how truly judgmental people can be when they don’t know the whole story. But I also know that as long as I make the next right decision, that amazing things will happen. And I also know that my sweet Johnny is going to be right by my side helping me every step of the way. Working together……… It’ll be alright again.
God Bless you and thank you for your music.