Little Miss Samantha

Samantha has walked a very rocky road, but Little Miss was there to make everything okay again… She writes…

I am 17 going on 18 and I have no idea who I am or who I am going to be. This song has inspired me to take all the hard times that I have faced and turn them into something positive.. When I was around five my grandma and my great grandma died within a few months of each other and a few weeks later my older sister had fallen ill and went into the hospital. She was only eight years old and had cancer and a brain tumor. The time that she spent in surgery and recovery took such a giant toll on my entire family and life style. It took months, years, to get things back to normal again and even though she survived (which proves that the power of positive thinking really works) it still has affected me more than I ever let anybody know about. I have also watched both of my parents battle a form of cancer and other than them I have literally lost anybody left in my family. Having to go through all these deaths has been so hard on me, it’s something that I can barely think about without crying for hours. I know that my parents have struggled so I decided very young to never bug them with any of my emotions so I faced them alone.

I’ve never been comfortable in my own skin and I went down the wrong road when I was thirteen or fourteen and began to self harm myself. My ‘friends’ at the time all saw the scars and they all knew that I was ready to end my crazy life. I was never suicidal, I just wanted a way out. I wanted to feel skinny and to feel beautiful. I wanted to be happy with who I was and have some sort of meaning. I went down this bumpy road never telling anybody what was going on. I was truly depressed. I had no feelings what so ever and I cut because I felt like I was finally in charge of something. I knew deep down inside it solved nothing but for some reason I kept at it for a very long time.

As cheesy as it sounds, when I started listening to Sugarland, I no longer felt a reason to cry myself to sleep, never felt the need to hurt myself again. I felt like Jennifer had stolen my diary and wrote my life story into an album. When I saw them in concert for the first time in 2009 I couldn’t believe how lucky I was to be in front of the two people who saved me. I can’t thank Sugarland enough for the impact they have had on my life. Sadly, a few months ago I started cutting again and honestly, I had stopped with my obsession so I hadn’t yet heard the song Little Miss, and when I was in the car and heard it on the radio I had to pull over my car because I couldn’t stop the tears. The second I heard “Little Miss hide your scars” I knew that Sugarland was back in my life. This song truly reminded me that everything will be alright again. I am starting to feel like myself again. And, I shouldn’t regret my past but learn from my experiences because everything will be okay in the end.

I honestly hope that no teenager (or adult) has to rely on self harm in order to feel complete and that if they do I hope they talk to someone. ANYONE. I relied on my best friend, who I happened to meet online. We met over a few online forums, one for a television show and one through a website for sexual assault survivors and supporters for a foundation to give healing to victims of sexual violence and abuse. I’ve shared some of the most horrific details of my life with her and in fan mail to Jennifer and I can honestly say I probably wouldn’t be here without the help of Little Miss Tyler Alesia or Sugarland. I could never thank them enough for the impact they have had on my life.

Erica, thank you for creating this project and allowing me to find hope and healing. You are incredible!

Love, Little Miss Samantha Kay Taylor.

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